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I will have a booth at the upcoming Avenues Art Fair in Salt Lake City on Sept. 9th!  I am temporarily pausing sales on my site while I finish my current orders and create pieces for the show. If you have questions or would like to discuss a custom order in the meantime, please feel free to contact me using the contact link at the bottom of the page. I will check my messages periodically and respond to you as soon as possible. ~ Namaste ~ Heidi

 

Finding My 'Why'

My workplace has been advocating a program to help employees be more engaged in our jobs and life in general. Every quarter or so, a couple of interactive posts walk us through personal discoveries and lifestyle changes that we can make to better our lives. The concept is lovely. The timing and application to an individual may not always have the intended effect.

When the first two posts came out, I diligently clicked through them. Afterward, I left work feeling even more inadequate and disengaged than ever. I was slipping into an existential crisis, and I hadn't seen it coming.

The first post was focused on your "why." Your raison d'etra. Your purpose. It was an exercise in thinking about how your job aligns with your purpose. Because engaged employees have jobs that line up with their reasons for being, right?

As I clicked through, I found myself skipping pages, not writing in anything, and getting more and more resentful. "I don't have a 'why.' I don't have a 5 year, or even a 5 week plan. No, I can't imagine looking back at the end of my life and saying, 'This. My career was my purpose. This is what my life stood for.'" Can't I just like my job and love that it contributes to helping people when they need it most? Isn't that good enough?

After having had my fill of that post, I thought I'd move on to the next and feel better about myself. Until I saw the title. It was about meal planning. How good engaged healthy people - who love and care for their families - plan meals out ahead of time, do food prep and make meals ahead on the weekends, create menus together. Smiling happy faces eager to spend life's precious hours chopping carrots.

My inner monologue was something like, "WTF-ever. I'm NEVER going to do all that. ANY of that. My idea of 'meal planning' is 'I plan on eating at some point today.'" 

I tried to push it aside. Ignore it. After all . . . I have PLENTY of other things to juggle and worrying about every day. I slogged on.

2017 - Let's Remember to Breathe

I can't say I've been exactly eager for this New Year. There is much on my mind. And my heart. I am certain there will be many good moments. But it's not like there is some guarantee of a fresh new bright perfect year ahead. 

I feel overwhelmed. I'm in a few groups that are trying to encourage action and activism and political change. I have so much on my plate already. I'm trying not to feel guilty by focusing on just improving myself - being more patient, less reactive, a better listener. In my head we each can make a big impact if we start with our own little circles of existence and especially within our own selves. I hear others saying this is a cop out and it's not enough. That we have to do more. But I don't have more to give.

Spread the Love

Today I went to my yoga class. We learned a new chant for the month of December.

Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavanthu

It means, "May all beings everywhere be happy and free and may the thoughts, words and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all."

Death of a Goddess

Taps plays softly in the background as I slowly slink away muttering blue words.

But this metalbender will be back down to the studio to try her hand at taming the elements after she makes a cup of tea.

And she will try not to drop any more stones . . . today.

Struggle with the Juggle

This was a post I wrote recently on FaceBook. Last week? Week before? I don't know. Life is rushing by so fast these days it is literally a blur at this point. It seems every day is at least somewhat manic. And then there are days when the mania is on overdrive.

Does this sound familiar to you? I'm betting that you can relate:

"Rushed home, rushed kid across town, rushed back and straightened house, met with notary on refi ... Now making dinner. After I get the kids in bed I have at least 3 more contracts to analyze and comment on before bed. I see an Americano before long!"

That post was soon followed by this view . . .

I've been reading SO many contracts and documents with SUCH tiny writing, I've even resorted to wearing READERS! OMG. I'm not happy with this sudden need for brighter light and magnification. We are not even going to discuss the birthday coming up next month . . .

Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Until the weekend. Then the pace continues, but the track changes . . .

"But Mommmm!" - Thoughts from the Studio Buddy

Mom put my old "little" bed just outside the studio. She won't let me lay IN her studio. Something about the fact that I take up the whole doorway already ... and that the torch is nose height ... and I keep bumping her arms and leaning on her so she'll hug me. #pout  #greatdane

3 Years Later: Still Gluten Dairy Soy and Egg Free . . . and Loving It!

Wow. Tuesday, May 31, 2016, will mark 3 years since I began my "new" food lifestyle. I still struggle with what to call it. I'm not just gluten free. While there are similarities, I am not exactly following a paleo lifestyle diet, either. I suppose I am basically on a low-inflammatory diet. Three years later I still do not eat gluten, dairy, or soy. I still avoid corn and peanuts. Every once in a great while I might have a roll that is made with egg whites. Or dip my french fries into a regular aoili or mayo-based sauce that has egg in it. It doesn't seem to hurt me in teensy tiny quantities like that at this point. But I do feel it if I go overboard and have those rolls several days in a row, or eat a lettuce-wrapped burger with a bit too much aoili on it. I still cannot eat an actual egg or egg white omelet, or anything with a significant amount of egg.

My kryptonite is sugar. Ohhhh, you know you are a bit too good at finding-things-you-can-eat when your hubby comes home with a box of ginger snap cookies that are gluten, dairy, soy and egg free. Mini custard-like tarts at the grocery store in that delicious persian lime flavor. Salted caramel 70% cacao bars that are actual free of all those vile poisons. Because then you EAT them. Eat them ALL. Like it might be your LAST. You hover over your sugary treat like Gollum clutching his "precious." Yessss. I have food-guarding issues. It's sad. I'm working on it.

But, the great news is that I am still in the clothes I was when I lost the original 54 lbs.

2016 - Fierce. Focused. Real.

I loved this Instagram composite of my most popular posts of 2015. It reminds me of how full the year was. From the outside, it may have looked like I was all over the place. New food adventures. Furry family journeys. New Jewelry endeavors. Travels. Friends. Job goals. Family goals. Personal goals. Coffee. 

Lots of coffee.

Encouraging Creativity and Patience

 

It is really easy for artistic types to get a little discouraged. We pour our hearts into our creations. Saw, hammer, solder and polish them. Then we shoo them out the door into the big bright world on their own. Sometimes we hear of the smiles and joy they bring. Sometimes we don't hear anything and are left to wonder about their adventures. And sometimes ... they surprise us.