Venus & The Pheonix

2022 was what I call my “anus horribilis” — my “horrible year.”

It started with a layoff that obliterated my self-worth and left me face-to-face with an abandonment complex I hadn’t known I had. Midway through the year, I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer and underwent a bilateral mastectomy. The waning months of the year found me among the scattered bits of my identity. I found my hard-headed spirit. Bits of backbone. And my creative voice. I began writing haiku and forging metallic metaphors of my emotions out of the rubble of my experiences: storm clouds, thistles and fortresses.

Throughout 2023, I dug deep, rebuilt my law career, and busted my ass to heal and earn my 2nd degree black belt. I even crafted a “Venus of Cicatrix” (Venus of the well-healed scar) as a symbol of my duct-taped, bailing wire-bound self that had somehow managed to crawl back from the brink.

Over the next 22 months, I melted scraps and rolled out feathers, and began creating a Pheonix. She STILL is not complete, even now. But that’s ok. She’s gathering herself, coalescing, evolving. I imagine she will rise when she’s damn good and ready. She will not be rushed.

And I am learning to trust myself.